One door closes
by legion2012
Summary: My very first Sanctuary series. Reading between the lines of Will's apology to Henry, and why did Henry change his mind about having surgery? 3 chapters, set between Season1 Episodes 7 & 8. Spoilers abound. Will/Henry first time slashfic.
1. One door closes

**Title:** One door closes **  
Fandom:** Sanctuary  
**Characters:** Henry Foss and Will Zimmerman  
**Notes:** Phrases or sentences in _italics_ represent character thoughts. Title based on the following quote:

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.**  
Alexander Graham Bell**

* * *

"Hey. How you feeling?" Will asked. He was inordinately pleased to have found Henry's door open. It permitted him a modicum of feigned nonchalance about the whole thing. He might not have been courageous enough to knock on the man's door had it been closed after the things he had said and implied.

"Fine." Henry's terse reply did nothing to deter Will, who pointedly did not leave even though he wasn't even looking at him. It made Henry wish he had closed and locked his door. He didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Just wanted to let you know we... ah... we chased that snake creature to the basement warehouse..." Will went on to describe his current working theory about the mishaps of the day, but his heart clearly wasn't in it. The status report was quite obviously a mere excuse to come into Henry's room, seeking forgiveness. He had let the cop in him run away with his judgment when he saw the cut on Henry's leg earlier. It had all been circumstantial, and he should have known better. He'd been rash and unfair, as Bigfoot had in no uncertain terms pointed out to him.

Having a burly Neanderthal size one down with a tone that fully reminded him that he could quite possibly tear him limb from limb while barely breaking a sweat was quite the wake up call. Not that he needed one. He was quite miserable with guilt to begin with. He'd all but accused Henry of being the author of the snake creature's acts. Then Henry had exposed his secret, his safety, and risked his life to save Will from the actual violent creature that had become loose in the Sanctuary. It was a miracle he hadn't suffered grievous bodily harm from his fight with the thing; not to mention the part that involved crashing through a window and dropping a couple of stories. _For me. He put himself in harm's way for me after I all but called him a criminal._ Will's voice kept going on automatic, mortified. It had never been easy for him to apologize, even when he was wrong. Especially when he was wrong.

Henry did not even pretend to listen. He was so mad at Will for not trusting him he could have spit, even though he intellectually recognized the soundness of his colleague's earlier bit of detective work. He still hated the fact that Will even for a moment thought him capable of such random violence and destruction. And that was _before_ he was made aware of his... condition. Now he'd probably think Henry no better than an animal. A monster.

Although he wasn't really paying attention, the tone of Will's halting, awkward explanation did cause him to dart a glance at the handsome psychiatrist. It burned him to think he had been working so hard to help Will out, even though he was running a fever and feeling miserable only for the man to turn around and cast suspicion on him, of all people. _Out of all the abnormals in the bleeding Sanctuary_.

"Listen, I was a jerk," Will finally said, and not a moment too soon. He'd gotten no further reaction from Henry so far, and the awkwardness dial was teetering close to eleven.

_Not exactly the magic words, but apparently they'd have to do._ _At least for now_, thought Henry. He finally deigned to stop fidgeting with his portable computer unit and looked Will squarely in the face. He gave away nothing. He really should have kept his bedroom door closed.

Will went on, feeling like more of a heel with every word. "I just didn't think... what it must be like to carry this around with you." _I had no right to treat him like a perp. After all, he's been here a lot longer than I have, and Magnus trusts him completely. What right did I have? Crap. _"I'm sorry."

_Ah. Magic words. He actually said it. I honestly didn't think he had it in him_, Henry mused.  
_  
_Although it was obvious that Will was sincerely apologetic, there was a knot in Henry's stomach that wouldn't unwind. And now Will knew. He knew something Henry very much didn't want him to know. Any chance there could have been of... _of what?_ Who was he kidding? He was sure that he didn't even register on Will's radar. For one thing, Henry was one of those guys who didn't set off anybody's _gaydar_, like an old flame had once told him. Perhaps if he didn't come across as a horn dog, he figured. Sure, he'd zone in on any remotely attractive female to come into his line of sight. Everyone knew that. However nobody seemed to notice the fact that he became equally solicitous of any healthy, good-natured and good-looking males that happened to come by. Maybe because not many of either actually came down to the _dungeon_ where Henry usually worked, he thought. But now Will Zimmerman had joined their dysfunctional little Sanctuary troupe, and it was all Henry could do not to hump his leg whenever he came close.

In fact, it had been Bigfoot who'd kept ushering Will away from him. He'd told Henry he didn't like his friends making fools of themselves. _Pretty socially aware for a freaking Neanderthal, isn't he?_

Henry immediately felt bad for thinking that way. It was just the bitterness talking... or thinking, rather. At least Bigfoot had cared that he was running a fever and made him lie down. Not to mention he'd fed him and kicked Will out of his room when the questioning wouldn't stop. It was sad that while he should be furious with Will for making him out to be a suspect, all he could think right now as the man earnestly apologized was '_Why won't he like me?_' He looked away, more sad and disappointed at himself than angry.

Will did not pick up on that at all. He squirmed in his chair and gave a deep sigh. Feeling decidedly unwelcome, he got to his feet. He essayed a smile and failed.

"And hey, ah..." He snorted derisively at himself before continuing. "Thanks for saving my ass." Will shot a rueful look at his unresponsive colleague. _Please, I'd really rather you yelled at me. A lot. Please?_ He'd not only overstepped, but he had made a colossal error in judgment. The repercussions were likely to go a lot further than having Henry give him the silent treatment, and Will was certain he deserved whatever it was that was coming his way.

Henry gave him a half-lidded look that was equal parts annoyance and resignation. He wasn't going to be able to stay mad at Will, was he? That would have made things so much easier. Instead, his stomach roiled in sympathy for the lithe young man. He fidgeted some more with his stylus, trying not to look at the other man, who was currently hanging his head and shuffling away like a kicked puppy. _Damn those baby blues._

"You're welcome," Henry gruffly muttered. _It's rather a nice ass. Couldn't help but save it._ He looked over at Will just long enough to register the man's relief, then glanced back at his screen with almost a smile on his face. It didn't last long. He had big old crush on a male co-worker to whom he was, to all appearances, sexually invisible. It was a lose-lose situation, and he knew it. He was much better off flirting incessantly with Ashley. At least they both knew it was nothing but innocent sparring, and that it would go nowhere. Will was dangerous because he was brilliant, kind, oblivious to his own beauty and hopelessly straight. He could have groaned. He felt more than saw his door closing, and he felt a vague sense of despair at the perceived finality of that action.

What Henry had missed was Will's lopsided little smile as he left the room. The psychologist felt his heart skip a beat at the hint of forgiveness in Henry's words. He found the depth of his relief unusual, yet welcome. Henry was a good man. A sensitive man, for all his protestations to the contrary. He was also quite the technological wizard, as Will had learned he pretty much single-handedly kept all the hardware and software in the Sanctuary up and running. Will promised himself to make it a point to be much nicer to Mr. Henry Foss from this day forward. It very much pleased him to think that, for reasons he couldn't as of yet fathom. He was glad to have closed the door on that bit of awkwardness between them. Perhaps this was someone he could come to call a friend.

While Will's thoughts were full of hope, Henry longingly gazed at his closed door for a long time, his heart nursing regret for things that might never come to be.

**FIN?**


	2. Something you turn away from

_**  
**_**Title:** Something you turn away from  
**Fandom:** Sanctuary  
**Characters:** Henry Foss, Will Zimmerman, Ashley  
**Rating:** Let's just go with **M**, just to be safe  
**Summary:** A Henry P.O.V. with sporadic missing scenes and sundry snippets. Part 2 of **One door closes**.  
**Warnings:** This story seems to be leading into Henry/Will territory and the author is, quite frankly, rather enthusiastically egging it on. If you're afraid of, or otherwise offended by, **SLASH** then; might I advise you to RUN, not walk, away as fast as your little underage, or otherwise insecure/bigoted legs can carry you? Thanks. That will be all. What? You're still here? Oh. Well, then. Enjoy, if you will.  
**Notes:** This part of the story is set during roughly the first half of the "Edward" episode (S01E08). There's more coming. In this instance, since it's mostly a P.O.V. piece which occurs inside Henry's head, I've used complete phrases or sentences in _italics_ to denote memories, as opposed to present thought. (All of these thought flashbacks are not mine, but actual lines from the show.) Single _words _italicized for emphasis. I'm sorry for the annoying proliferation of ellipses, especially in Will's dialogue. The actor portraying Will actually reads his lines with that type of halting delivery, and I think it fits the character really well, so I'm choosing to write it in whenever I feel the pause works dramatically. At least for now. Title based on the following quote:

_"Something you need most might be something you turn away from, something you turn away from might be something you regret, and something you regret, in the end, might cost you the one chance you ever had." __**Brian Judge**_

* * *

_Well, at least that way I wouldn't miss being human._  
_  
_I can't take my eyes off of Will Zimmerman. His scent has been tormenting me ever since he saw the change in me. The last thing I remember is catching the sour smell of Will's fear sweat out on the hallway and, the next thing I knew, I was lying on the grounds naked, being covered with a blanket by Bigfoot while Will looked on with shock in his eyes. I could still smell the last of his fear clinging to his clothes, but his skin scent was flush with the heady aura of endorphins. And just how do I know that? I'm a techie, not a medic. How can I tell all these things from _smell_?

The gentle scrape of wood against stone wakes me from my reverie as Will gets up from his chair and gathers his notes to leave the library. I escape down the corridor before he can see me, and I can smell him coming as sure as I hear his footsteps. I stand around the corner past the elevator and his scent carries over to me, fresh and clean from the shower. I resent the herbal aroma of his shampoo. To my newly sensitive nose, it clashes with the natural, homey scent of his scalp. What if instead of homey, I get up one day and he smells like an enemy? Or worse, as prey? What if I suddenly decide Will smells like food?  
_  
What if I hurt one of you?_  
_  
_My hands are shaking by the time the elevator door closes and he's blessedly gone. I can't go on like this. Damn you, Will Zimmerman. Why did you have to come into my life _now_? Why like this? I realize I'm majorly fixating on Will as I run all the way to my room and lock the door. I recall reading during my crash course on all things lycanthrope that, like many in the lupine species family, werewolves mate for life. Now, where did that useless tidbit of data come from?

I can see it now. Hey, Will, I've been meaning to ask. Are you into furries? The thought is so preposterous, I can't stop laughing. I laugh and laugh until I realize I'm crying, and then I'm howling at the ceiling. This has to stop.

_You either chain me up in the Shoe, or you tell me how I can stop all this_.

* * *

It's a few hours later, and I've managed to rinse my face with enough cold water that my eyes are barely swollen any more. Still, I find myself unable to look at Will, or anyone for that matter. This was a bad idea. I should have stayed in my room. I should get used to being alone, separate.  
_  
If it'll keep me human, bring it on._

That kid in the elevator brought it all home for me. He didn't react that way when he saw me before, in the lab. Why now? Why so strongly? Am I about to become that thing? Will I stay a monster forever? I can't face them. I can't face Will. I don't think I'll be able to stand the look on his face when he sees the freak inside of me. I want the surgery. Fuck. I want a lobotomy. I want to not have to think about this anymore. Not ever again.

_I've made up my mind. I've made up my mind. _

* * *

"Why are you avoiding me?"

He shows up right after my final conversation with Helen. I'm so tense. So tense. I can't believe I didn't hear or smell him coming. It's like I was lost inside my own head.

"Henry?" Will insists gently.

"I'm not avoiding you," I lie, sullenly. Perhaps it came out sharper than I meant it to, because Will's back straightens and he's silent for a moment.

"Right," he finally says. "My mistake. I... didn't mean to pry." The _again_ is implied in his tone.

He stands there, like he can't decide what to do. By then, my senses have reawakened, I can smell him again, his worry, his guilt, his reticence, and even a faint discordant whiff of shame. They are all palpable to me, an invisible miasma of scent that tells me more than words ever could. In hindsight, I believe that had he said anything else, I would have broken down and told him everything. The veracity of his scent had lowered my defenses. But he didn't. He respected my silence and left without another word. It was for the best, really.

Ashley walks right past him. I can smell many of the same emotions on her that I had on Will, except with that metallic undertone of steely determination that's all Ash. This is bound to get ugly. We argue for a while, and I throw everything I have at her.

_We've both seen the ugly side of the abnormal world._

Ashley has taken up the torch. She won't quit. I don't know what else to say.  
_  
We've also seen its wonder. It's beauty.  
_  
There's no beauty in being a monster. Not after being on the other side. I know that, and she knows that. And yet, Ashley isn't above playing dirty.

"Do you think he'll want you if you're a shell of who you are now? Dude, for all we know you could end up a drooler. That's not going to be attractive."

Ouch.

"Oh, that's nice. Good to see all that sensitivity training at work," I retort. I huff out a breath before going on. "It doesn't matter, Ash. He doesn't want me anyway," I say bitterly. "He's just following me around like a damn puppy because he thinks I saved his life. That's crazy talk. For all I know, the only reason I jumped that fucking snake thing instead of him is because _it_ smelled tastier to me than stringy human meat did at the time."

"You saved his life, Henry. Stop being an ass about this. Please!"

I have never seen Ash so worried. Her eyes are shiny, moist. I can already smell the salt of her tears, and her eyes are barely moist.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I have to... I already scheduled the surgery. I..." I swallow the knot in my throat. "I want you all to remember me as a man."

* * *

_You think turning into that mongrelized human is a gift?_

That was not my finest moment. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm about the suckiest suck that ever sucked. Bigfoot is like a brother to me. I can't count how many times he's fed me and tucked me in when I was ill or drunk, or just bone tired. People have been wearing me down, and I was talking stupid. Foot in mouth, indeed.

For everyone's talk of it being my own damn decision, they sure can't seem to shut the hell up about it. I came to the library to hide while I process the fact that I offended the crap out of my best friend, who pointedly did not throw it in my face. The next thing I know, Will is making a beeline to where I'm sitting with that look on his face he gets when he's trying to appear harmless. Like I'm one of his freak cases. Man, I've got to stop thinking like this.

I hem and haw and give him nothing, so after beating around the bush for several minutes, he finally goes for it. I can't stop looking at his hands. Will has these graceful fingers that look delicate only because they're so damn long, but when you look closer you can see that they're strong. He has good hands, shapely and athletic. I think he notices my zoning on them, because he pulls them off the table and down onto his lap before he says my name, calling my attention to his next words.

"Henry, look. Whomever or whatever it is you're becoming, you should realize that you came to my rescue. It was not random. You acted the part of the hero. Whatever else you think, you have to know that you're not a monster."

I'm getting really tired of that song. I go on the defensive. "I'm not in control when I change. I black out. I'm terrified I might hurt y... one of you." It helps that I believe my own arguments. If I were to harm one of them... If I had pushed Will out that window, he'd be dead. I couldn't face the mirror if that happened. I'd just end it.

Something's not right. The look of guarded triumph on Will's face makes me feel like I was somehow set up.

"Don't you see, Henry? Yes, you're not in control, and even so you still attacked that creature. To protect me. Even after I accused you of those terrible things, you saved my life. I'm thinking that whether you remember or not, you're still the same man."

I barely realize I'm shivering, and I can feel a few beads of moisture that aren't sweat roll down my cheeks. My face feels stuck, frozen in place. Embarrassing, is what this is.

There's a look on Will's face I'd never seen before. It cannot be. He looks vulnerable, anxious, as if he... cares? I can see his instinct to protect kick in almost before I catch the smell. Is this what compassion smells like? It doesn't smell like pity, thank heavens for that. I don't think I could stand it. In fact, I _know_ I couldn't.

"Henry," Will says, sounding like he's willing me to open up.

"I don't wanna be a monster," I grind out miserably. What do you know? Maybe he did will me to open up. Maybe that's his superpower.

"You won't be," he says in a tone that dares me to say otherwise. "You saved my ass, remember?"

I can't take it. I have to interrupt him. If I don't I think I might scream.

"You don't understand!" I take a few tense, deep breaths and look right into Will's eyes. It's now or never. "I don't want _you_ to see me as a monster." My voice sounded wooden just then. I hear someone breathing harshly and realize it's me. My hands are beginning to shake a little with pent up emotion. _Don't make me spell it out for you,_ I think, and Will doesn't.

I watch Will blink at me a few times while he processes the information, I suppose. When he finally responds, it's like everything I feared.

"Oh," he says, sounding a bit like someone who'd just been kicked in the gut.

_Oh. That's it?_ I feel the rug being pulled from under me. I feel like someone poured a bucket of cold water on me. I feel all those stupid clichés that people say they feel in moments like these. I hate it. Hard.

I chuckle humorlessly and promptly look down at the floor. "Shouldn't have said that," I try to say, but it comes out like a hiss. I'm trying really hard to salvage my dignity here.

"Henry," Will replies carefully, reaching out to grab my wrist. If he touches me, I think I'm really going to lose it badly.

"Don't!" I cry out, recoiling from his touch. I can't bear him to touch me. I swear I'll kick him in the groin if he feels sorry for me. My heart starts beating miles a minute and I feel the prickling sensation of the wolf itching right under my skin. _God, not now. Please. _

"No, Henry. I need you to listen to me," Will insists. I barely hear him, what with the blood pounding in my ears. "Please." He bravely takes hold of my wrist anyway.

Will's touch burns me. I can't look at him. I fight the urge to punch him, to pull my arm away, and look away to my right instead.

"I don't need a damn speech. I get it," I spit out, my forearm muscles coiling tensely from Will's warm hand.

"I don't think you do," Will says. "Won't you please look at me? Listen to what I have to say."

Is this why he's so good at his job, because he's such a relentless bastard? I whip my head fast enough to startle Will. I glare at him with all my might, because I'm afraid that otherwise I'll just break down and cry like a little girl. There's a little voice in the dark, where the wolf lives, that's demanding I man up and claim Will as my own. It doesn't understand my very human need for informed consent. Will's voice brings me back to myself, more or less, but all my senses are spiking. I can smell what he ate for breakfast today. I can hear his heartbeat. I can see the minute thrum of his jugular under the smooth, soft skin of his neck, and my mouth waters.

"Henry, I want you to be completely clear on this. I need you to understand that my hesitation has nothing to do with you changing, and everything to do with the fact that before today I had never even entertained the notion of... well... you and I... in that way." Will swallows a few times and manages to hold my gaze, baleful as it must be. "What I mean is... I've never... you know... with guys." He licks his lips, which makes me want to growl as I look at his mouth. He seems awkward now. In fact, I will later learn my eyes began shifting back and forth to the wolf's incandescent hue. The wolf gives me strength and, somehow Will instinctively senses it. He's babbling, insecure. "Well... just the once, in college, really; but that doesn't... I mean." He laughs softly, nervously at his own babbling and adds, "I hope you can appreciate how hard this is for me, now."

This is hard for _him_? That brings me back to myself for sure. "You're kidding, right?" I can't help but say in a quiet, angry voice. And was that a bit of a growl in it too?

Will flushes scarlet when he realizes what he just said. "I... I'm an idiot," he groans. I can almost taste the blood pooling, warming his skin as he reddens. Two kinds of hunger awaken in me, and they both thrill and terrify me.

Will is looking at me like a man who's standing between a rock and a hard place, with no hope of salvation. There's a deeper, muskier wave of that scent I'm associating with compassion, and I lick my lips in anticipation. I'm seeing double, almost. I start moving towards Will before he realizes what's happening. I see Will's lips moving, but I'm not listening any more.

"You are... what could you possibly see in an idiot like...?"

He never finishes that question, mostly due to the fact that his mouth is full of tongue and otherwise occupied. I hear myself moaning softly as the taste of Will's mouth explodes into my own. My hunger defines itself as lust and, perhaps ironically, the wolf recedes. The kiss is intoxicating. My enhanced sense of smell had given me an idea of what the man might taste like, but the real thing is like touching a live wire. I need this. This feels right. This feels like home.

I raise one hand to gently cradle Will's face, who seems frozen in place for a long time. Or maybe it's just a few seconds. The thing is, Will is tense and unyielding. A sinking feeling starts nagging at me that perhaps I should stop. I try to smell whether he's feeling fear or anger or arousal, but my senses are spiraling out of control. What if Will really isn't into this?

I almost stop. I almost let him go, but then I feel Will's jaw unclench. I feel a moment of sheer euphoria when Will's lips actually begin to move against mine, searching and doing some tasting of his own. Instinct. Kissing back. Then I place my other hand high on his chest, and he gasps and pulls away as if burnt.

Once Will's brain engages again, he realizes that I not only stole a kiss from him, but he's just caught himself in the act of kissing back. Will freaks out. He gasps audibly and scrambles away. I immediately miss his hot mouth. I hear the loud scraping noise as his long legs propel his chair backwards a good two feet before he stops. He sits there with this thunderstruck look on his face, breathing hard. When he can manage to speak, it's all very shaky and uneven.

"Holy sh-shit."

"Will, I'm..." _Sorry? Really?_ Not really. "I didn't mean to... not like this." I feel like a lovelorn schoolboy. I try to put into my slightly glazed eyes how sorry I am to have freaked him out. I almost want to take the kiss back. Almost. But only because Will looks like he's ready to run screaming through the halls.

I don't want Will to run screaming. I want him to kiss back again. I want him to realize he has feelings for me too. And while I'm at it, I want to be immortalized in song, and a couple billion dollars. It ain't gonna happen.

Will hesitates. I've learned that when he glances down and to the side it means that he's going to be choosing his words carefully.

"I'm... don't... ah." Will starts to raise his fingers to his mouth, but he stops and puts them down on his lap.

"Will," I say softly. _Yes, your lips are still throbbing. I can tell. Mine are too. Jeeze, I haven't felt like this since, like... never! Please, kiss me again._ I say none of those things.

His hands have a white knuckled grip on the fabric of his jeans now, and his scent turns both musky with arousal and acidy with fear. It's a heady combination, and I very much don't want to go there as to why at this time.

Will's sweat is sexy to my nose. My toes curl inside my boots. He liked it. Some part of him liked the kiss. I observe his dilated pupils, and his still wet lips are very pink and slightly swollen. Then I realize there are much more obvious signs of his arousal on display than I'd first noted. And O, merciful heaven, I'm pretty excited myself, and I'm fairly sure he's seen it too. When he sees my eyes land on his crotch, Will almost topples his chair over in his hurry to leave.

"I have to go," Will says, sounding like he's about to choke. He hastily pulls his shirt out of his trousers to cover his lap and all but runs out into the hallway.

"Will!" I call out, but he's already gone. I don't get up.

I simply touch my fingertips to my lips and close my eyes.

TBC


	3. Too often when I loved

**Title:** Too often when I loved  
**Fandom:** Sanctuary  
**Characters:** Henry Foss, Will Zimmerman, Ashley, Bigfoot  
**Rating:** **M**, although there's nothing overly explicit. (unless you're a Puritan or a homophobe, in which case it's very, _very_ **M**) A few instances of strong, or suggestive language.  
**Summary:** Part 3 of One door closes, in which Will breaks the awkward meter, tempers flare, and deals are made. Takes place towards and throughout the end of the "Edward" episode, before the scene in which Henry informs Dr. Magnus of his change of heart about the surgery. This sort of tries to answer the question; why did Henry _really_ change his mind?  
**Warnings:** This story is quite clearly entering Henry/Will territory and the author is still rather enthusiastically egging it on. If you're afraid of, or otherwise offended by, **SLASH** then; might I advise you to RUN, not walk, away as fast as your little underage, or otherwise insecure/bigoted legs can carry you? Thanks. That will be all. What? You're still here? Oh. Well, then. Have at it, if you will.  
**Notes:** I've done my 'darnedest' to make the most of Thanksgiving break in order to get as much of this story done as I possibly could, because my RL is crazy and sometimes I go months without a moment to write. Now that my muse is no longer dormant I'll probably try harder to make time, but it's gonna be touch and go, folks. This has led me to close the series here. If time allows and the muses bite, I may begin another series in this same timeline to follow this one, but for now, this door is finally closed. Thanks for all the lovely feedback and encouragement so far. It really fuels the muses like nothing else. Enjoy!  
**  
**Most of the dialogue in the first scene is taken directly from the episode's script. Subtext added by the author's fiery imagination for all things slash. Blessedly back to the third person P.O.V. the author is so fond of. Complete phrases or sentences in _italics_ represent character thoughts. Single _words _italicized for emphasis. Title based on the following quote:

_"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." _

_** David Grayson**_

* * *

"For all we know Robbie could be blaming himself for his father's death. We gotta try and find him," Will rambled, opening the box of evidence he'd carried in from the car. "He could be hiding out of pure fear."

Both himself and Henry had been studiously avoiding looking one another in the eye since the dreaded kiss. However, they were perfectly capable to carry a polite conversation, especially about work matters, or so they told themselves. In fact, they had probably spoken more in each other's presence in the last few hours than they ever had before since they'd first met. There was something in the air that spoke of looming awkward silences. So long as there was conversation, they didn't actually have to speak or think of more _personal_ and potentially embarrassing subjects.

Henry took in a long sighing inhalation. "You know, I understand that." He felt more than saw Will's eyes on him. Henry had indeed been tempted to hide in his room again like he had after the snake creature incident, but avoidance and denial hadn't worked out too well so far. He wore a resigned expression on his face. He'd blown it. He'd jumped the gun, kissing Will without his permission. _You just don't do that to another guy_, he thought.

Will did indeed glance over at Henry a few times. He felt compelled to erase that vaguely pained expression from Henry's face. _But I'm not gay. So really, what can I do? _

Will distinctly remembered his days of experimentation in college. At best, the sex had been messy and awkward. Not that he minded messy, but he'd been very disappointed both times he tried it. Once, he'd been with a fellow student who was even more confused than he was. The sex had not been terrible, but it had been rushed and incompetent, and the guy had never spoken to him again. Determined to better his odds the second time, he decided to try for someone with more experience. He ended up sleeping with one of his professors, who seemed well-adjusted and worldly but turned out to be a dirty old man who all but infantilized him, would not remove his socks in bed and cried after sex. He'd sworn off men since.

Of course, neither of them had kissed him like _that_. Not like Henry had. He caught himself looking at Henry's mouth, remembering the feeling of his facial hair tickling his mouth. He shook himself out of that line of thought, and focused on Henry's _other_ predicament.

"Magnus says you're, uh... going through with the surgery," Will said carefully, keeping his best poker face.

Henry's heart warmed to hear Will ask, for some reason. He admired Will's ability to keep it professional, no matter that he had literally run away after he kissed him, but the unasked question told Henry he cared. At least he chose to think so. He could smell the uncertainty on Will's skin, and decided he could afford to be generous, so he went for a joke. "Yeah. Listen, if I start growing man-boobs I'm depending on you to tell me."

Will snorted, and most of the tension in the room dissipated. "Who knows? You might look good," he came back with in a mock serious voice that couldn't help but sound grateful. _Man-boobs? Where the hell did that come from? _Will tried to resist the mental picture, but Henry had gone there. Thinking about Henry's chest brought back rather titillating memories of certain piercings he wasn't sure he was supposed to have seen. Since Will was completely clean cut and unadorned, he had always had a fascination with body modification. He was just too chicken to indulge in any himself. _ Oh, Lord. Do not think about piercings. Do not... Damn. Pierced nipples. Pierced navel. I've always wondered what they felt like. I wonder what other piercings he might have. Crap, I shouldn't be thinking these things. Focus, Will._

Henry looked up at him and smiled, and he caught what looked like a goofy little hopeful smile on Will's face. It made him grin. Henry felt inordinately giddy now that the ice was broken between them. They were looking at each other again, and making jokes. That had to be good.

At least it meant that Bigfoot would not go through with his threat to lock them up in one of the cages until they got over this foolishness. Probably.

That still left the surgery. Henry kept second guessing himself about it. He was about to bring it up when an olfactory clue coming from inside the box pushed all other thoughts from his mind. His sense of smell spiked, and he grabbed a balled up shirt and brought it to his nose. There was something familiar about it. He could smell Edward, vaguely. No. Not exactly Edward, but very similar. Familiar. _The brother?_

"Hey, this belonged to the boy. Right? Robbie?" Henry asked.

"Yeah, I guess so. Why?" Will threw Henry a questioning look. The shorter man was sniffing the boy's shirt. Will looked away fast. Enhanced sense of smell. _Henry could. He might_... _Nah, he couldn't possibly. _Thinking back to the moments right after the kiss, his own enhanced recall remembered noticing Henry's nostrils flare just before his gaze followed a steady trail from Will's eyes to his mouth to his crotch. He wondered in a slightly panicked way if Henry had somehow _smelled_ his body's reaction before he saw it. He barely heard Henry's reply. He was too busy wondering if even now Henry might be listening to his racing heart.

"Nah, just wondering." As it happened, Henry wasn't paying attention to Will either when he replied. The mixture of scents on Robbie's shirt were as clear to him as the colors in everything around him. They were only unfocused until he really paid attention. Water. No. Damp. Refuse. Asphalt. The riverside? Maybe. _Wait._ He knew. Suddenly, Henry knew exactly where the boy was.

His brow knit with concentration, Will remembered he wanted to take the opportunity to talk to Henry more about his surgery. The man had just given him an opening, and he would be remiss if he didn't use it, or at least leave that door open.

As Henry was leaving, he heard Will's voice call out his name.

"Henry?"

"What?" Henry answered gently. His mind was on Robbie, mostly, but he stopped and turned around when Will spoke. Will glanced at the tee shirt still balled up in Henry's hand, and his brow furrowed further in a puzzled expression. "I need to borrow this," Henry said, referring to the shirt.

Will didn't question him. He merely nodded. "Right. Listen... about the surgery," he began, then paused. He swallowed once. "I know it's not my place."

Henry raised his eyebrows meaningfully, and Will blushed several shades of rose. He didn't say anything, however, so Will continued.

"Okay, I haven't known you that long, but I wish you'd reconsider," Will managed to get out in a rush of words. There, he had said it.

Seeing no major reaction in Henry, he added, "A-at least give it a few more days. Why don't we... uh... why don't we talk about it?"

Will read Henry's body language as urgency. The man had stopped to listen to what he was saying, but obviously he wanted to be somewhere else. Will trudged on hesitantly, which Henry thought was one of his more endearing traits.

"I mean... when you get back. If you want to," Will finally added with a tiny shrug.

"I want to," Henry lied. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about it, but he knew he probably should. He also figured that any excuse to spend more time with Will was a good excuse. _Stupid. Bull-headed is what it is. You're only setting yourself up for heartache, kid._ Henry wondered idly if it would be possible to take out a hit on the voices inside his head. _God, Will. What are you doing to me?_ "Later, alright? Promise."

His last words earned Henry a shy but honest smile. Will replied, "Okay." He saw a glimpse of the old vulnerability in Henry's eyes just before he turned around and left, and the memory of Henry lying on the grass outside completely nude and helpless assaulted him. He clenched his jaw with a sympathetic sigh and thought he'd made the right call. No matter how awkward he felt being alone with Henry right now, the man needed him. He couldn't help but think Henry was about to make a huge mistake, one he couldn't undo. If it was within his power, he'd fix it. It was, after all, his job, and he prided himself on being good at it.

* * *

Later that night they were all riding the good feeling of a job well done. They had managed to reunite and save what was left of a family, and had protected them from the civil authorities. Dr. Magnus excused herself early, leaving Henry, Will, and Ashley sitting at the table. Bigfoot was already busy taking away their plates. Ashley patted her flat stomach and groaned.

"I'm gonna have to jog an extra five miles after that meal," she said as she got up. "Well, catch you boys later. Hot date," she announced. She walked around the table in order to rap her knuckles on the top of Henry's head, who winced and gave her an annoyed look.

"Ow. What was that for?" Henry asked while rubbing the spot, taking his bedhead to greater heights.

"So you don't get a swelled head, mister man," Ashley chided, but her tone immediately softened. "You did good today," she added meaningfully, as if saying _See? A good thing came of the use of your emerging powers._ She ruffled his hair. "Behave, okay?"

Will observed their interaction with interest. Ashley made it a point of being abrasive, but he'd noticed she had a mile-wide soft spot for Henry. A small part of him that dared not show its face felt a twinge of jealousy. He stiffened in his seat when Ashley rounded on him all of a sudden.

"And you," she said, menacingly. "Be nice, or I'll bust your kneecaps."

"Wh-what? What did _I_ do?" Will blurted out, flustered.

"Ash!" Henry cut in firmly.

Bigfoot chuckled a few grunts that managed to be amused, mocking and menacing all at the same time before he disappeared in the direction of the kitchen, carrying a full tray of china and silverware.

Will's head whipped from Ashley to Bigfoot's receding form and back. His eyes widened and he looked at Henry, panic on his face. _Oh, my God. They know. He told them. He told them he kissed me. Does everybody know?_

Before he could feel completely betrayed, he noticed Henry surreptitiously shaking his head no. The other man's eyes were pleading with Will not to say anything incriminating. Lucky for them both, Will was a master at reading body language. _Come on, Will, old buddy. Don't say it. Don't say it_, seemed to be the message. Henry wasn't sure Ashley wouldn't skin them both if she knew what had transpired. Sometimes her protectiveness expressed itself in rather extreme and dangerous ways. He really didn't fancy seeing Will with a broken nose or no teeth.

Will swallowed hard and wisely stayed silent. He saw Ashley glare at Henry, then at him before she left the room smiling as if nothing had happened. The moment they were alone Will spoke up.

"Okay. What the hell was that?" Will's mouth hung slightly open like it did whenever he was perplexed.

"I'm sorry," Henry replied. "She... she acts like I'm her little brother, even though I'm older than her." He shrugged and gave Will a resigned, close-mouthed smile.

"I'm... I know I'm, uh... missing something," Will said haltingly, eyeing Henry. He could feel the blood boiling up to his face until he could feel the heat of it on his cheeks.

"Let's not talk here, okay?" Henry mumbled. He mouthed the word 'cameras,' and let out a relieved breath when Will nodded his agreement.

They walked in amicable silence most of the way to Henry's room. It was Will who broke it, musingly.

"She's right, you know. You did good today."

"Meh," Henry shrugged. "I wasn't even sure it was gonna work. You know? Just figured it was worth a shot."

"Well, I'm glad you did. You're a hero to that family," Will insisted with a hint of both reluctance and pride.

Henry ducked his head and walked on without replying. He felt nothing like a hero. He was just some geek loser who was turning into a freak in love with a hot young doctor he couldn't have. If this was what being a hero was like, then being a hero blew big chunks.

Will stopped just shy of Henry's door. He came to realize he had allowed Henry to lead him to his bedroom. He wasn't sure that was such a good idea, given what had happened between them in the library. God forbid Henry got the wrong idea. _Or is it the right idea? Feeling curious again after all these years, Zimmerman? _Worse still, God forbid Henry's senses picked up on Will's curiosity. If he was to be honest with himself, he had to admit it was more than sheer curiosity. Since Henry kissed him, he had started looking at the man with completely new eyes. Things that had gone unnoticed before, like the proud brow and refined nose, the shape of his hands, and the solid musculature of him under his slacker clothes.

Then there was the passion underneath Henry's feigned apathy. Will felt he should have noticed these things before. He figured that even before Henry's differences manifested, he had already managed to learn to carry himself in a way that ensured nobody paid any undue attention to him.

The thought of Henry hiding in plain sight like that made him sad.

When Henry noticed Will had stopped he turned to him. "What?"

"Oh, nothing. Well. Actually," Will mumbled dumbly, fidgeting.

Henry's mood soured. He let out a resigned sigh. "Private quarters. No surveillance, no interruptions?" Will's reluctance really grated on him.

"Right. Of course." Will could have groaned. He really wasn't handling this very well.

"Look, we don't have to do this," Henry said mildly, but annoyed.

Will made a contrite face and valiantly pushed past Henry and into the bedroom. Henry shook his head and closed the door.

"You sure you wanna be here?" he asked, his hand still on the door handle.

"I'm positive. Listen, Henry, I apologize for being such a moron about... well, you know. I'm still a bit in shock, and I haven't really had time to process..."

_Oh, man. I'm really not in the mood for this. _"Yeah. Okay, doc. Gotcha. Look, I didn't bring you here to have my way with you. Satisfied? You said you wanted to talk. So, talk."

Henry knew he was being a bit of a dick, but damned if Will hadn't earned it. It wasn't as if they had never been alone together near a bed before, except now that Will knew Henry had the hots for him, he was acting like the stereotypical block-headed straight boy. Now, it seemed, Henry had suddenly become Rapey McPerv because he was bisexual. As if Will hadn't confessed to having experience with guys, Henry thought, frustrated.

Will looked up at the ceiling, mortified. "Please, Henry. Have some compassion, okay? Maybe this is old hat for you, but I assure you it is all new to me. I _want_ to be your friend. I don't know if... Look, I didn't come here to talk about what happened between us. I wanted to talk about the surgery. I wanted to... shit. I don't think it's a good idea," he blurted out.

Henry wondered how things had gotten derailed so fast and so badly. He was disproportionately angry at Will, and he knew he was bound to say things he would later regret.

"We've been over this, man. Yeah, I'm having second thoughts, but I don't think I'm gonna skip the chance to stay human on the slim hope that things will turn out okay. That'd be stupid."

"It's not stupid to want to be true to your nature. What's happening to you is perfectly natural," Will reasoned.

"Aw, fuck you, Mr. Perfect. Yeah, I'm _naturally_ becoming some uncontrollable beast with all the salient features of a dangerous predator. Sounds awesome. I _really_ wanna go on that trip." Henry hated that his voice broke towards the end of his rant. He thought he was doing really well on the belligerence up until then.

Ignoring the profanity, Will pressed on. "But, Henry, you won't be alone in this."

"Why?" Henry growled. His voice was shrill in his own ears. "Because you wanna be my _buddy_? You wanna be BFF's now? You bastard. You know how I feel about you. I'm not gonna let myself become a monster just so I can be your token _freak_ friend." Henry was glad he was too angry to cry. He was literally and utterly hormonal, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Will stood frozen to the spot. His face paled, then flushed. His mouth moved, but no words came out. Henry thought it was kind of scary how he couldn't tell whether Will himself was going to cry or scream really loud. In the end he did neither, but Henry couldn't have put a greater look of deep hurt and humiliation on Will's face if he had bitch slapped him. The sight made his throat constrict. When Will finally did speak, his voice was hushed and tight. It shook with barely contained anger.

"If you honestly think so little of me, then why the hell did you kiss me?" was all Will asked.

Henry's eyes widened comically in a momentary panic when he saw Will in that state. It was sobering. _No, no, no. Oh, not good. So not good._

After swallowing hard and licking his lips, Will rounded up on Henry. "I thought you'd accepted my apology," he accused.

"I did," Henry protested. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't want anyone's pity," he offered weakly in explanation.

"I know this is hard for you, Henry," Will replied. He took a deep breath and continued. "I figured you might be hurt that perhaps I didn't react the way you wanted me to, but I never acted in a way that... I know I was scared of a lot of the residents when I first arrived here, but I've never..." He did not seem to be able to finish any one thought. That's how upset he was. "What you said just now, though... I know this sucks for you, but that hurt. It really hurt. Somehow I hope you don't think I deserved that."

Choked by shame, Henry replied, "I'm sorry." His eyes shone wetly.

In a way, Henry's unkind words had shocked Will into accepting a very important fact. He cared a lot more about Henry's opinion of him than he had allowed himself to realize. While the tortured man's words had been cruel, were he anyone else they would have never made Will lose control like this. Will never lost his cool with a patient, or at least he liked to think that he didn't. The problem was that obviously Henry had become something else in Will's perception when Will wasn't paying attention, or the miserable look on Henry's face wouldn't be affecting him like it was either. He was out of his depth. His professional detachment wasn't just compromised, it wasn't even in the same zip code as this mess he was in.

"It's... okay," Will said uncertainly.

"No, Will. I'm really sorry. That thing between my teeth? That'll be my foot again," Henry insisted, mortified. He'd had to say that far too often these days."I'm all like... hormonal or something. Did you know my _genes_ are changing?" he said, and his breathing turned sobby. "I'm just so scared, man. I'm so damn scared. It's like I don't know who I am any more."

"I've been a pretty shitty friend. And you're still the guy who saved my life." Will's eyes looked everywhere, at a loss for words. In the end, he simply faced the man, holding his gaze honestly. "I don't know what else to say," Will finally admitted, and opened his arms in a helpless gesture.

No sooner than Will did that, than Henry was wrapped around him, shaking slightly as he fought the inevitable tears. It was crazy. Henry pretty much never used to cry before he started changing, and now he'd choke up when the wind changed direction. Once again, it was embarrassing; like a nightmare rerun of puberty, times a hundred. He held on tightly to Will, and he shivered when Will's arms squeezed him gently in return.

"Don't crack a rib," Will joked lamely. Henry's immediate reply was a tearful chuckle.

"Okay," he whispered back.

Some time passed. Minutes, hours. Henry wanted to stop time and simply remain like this, his arms around Will and the taller man draped around him loosely. He could be content with this, and if sexual frustration eventually killed him, he'd still die happy. This much Will was definitely better than no Will at all. If Henry could just slap some sense into the man. Henry's nose didn't lie, but Will was blinded by years of rationalization.

Will felt a little awkward, but he did not end the hug. Henry needed comfort. Being as Will was currently the object of his affection, albeit unrequited, he was uniquely qualified to offer said comfort. He stopped the rationalization in its tracks. _You're doing this because it feels good to comfort Henry. Stop being a wuss and face it: you like the man. You want to be here, and you don't want him to go through the surgery because you don't want to lose him. _

"I still wish you'd reconsider my proposal of giving it more time before you proceed with surgically altering yourself," Will said very softly.

"Will?" Henry muttered, half his face burrowed against Will's chest. "Shut up."

"I'm serious," Will insisted in the same serene tone. He thought about pulling away from the awkward hug, but his arms merely squeezed Henry closer. He decided to follow his body's lead on this one.

"Should we sit down?" Will asked.

Untangling himself from Will's arms, Henry gestured to his bed and the chair next to it. Will took the chair, and Henry plopped onto his bed, wiping his eyes dry with his shirt sleeve. He then untied his shoelaces and kicked off his sneakers before pulling his legs up onto the bed.

Another long silence ensued. Henry couldn't bring himself to talk until he saw Will open his mouth to start up his anti-surgery campaign again. He didn't let Will speak.

"You know, no offense, but you're one pushy bastard."

Will blushed and looked suitably chagrined. "It's just that... there's no undoing what you're about to do. It's not like changing majors in college. You can't go ba..."

"I'm not gonna do it," Henry announced, stopping the other man's line of reasoning.

"You're not?"

Henry hesitated, then shook his head no.

"I sense a but coming on," Will said carefully. His head tilted a little, trying to read Henry.

"No buts, just one condition."

"What's that?" Will asked, and he cocked an eyebrow questioningly.

"You say you don't care about the beast in me. Prove it. Go out on a date with me."

Will wasn't expecting that. He stammered in response. "I.. b-but... I, ah... told you it's not about that, already."

Henry narrowed his eyes at him. "I call bullshit."

"Look, man," Will began. Henry interrupted again.

"You told me yourself you've dated guys before." Henry had had enough. He wasn't going down without a fight on this one.

"It was terrible," Will retorted willfully.

"Maybe you dated the wrong guys. Did you ever think about that?" Henry shot back, doggedly setting his jaw.

Actually, Will _had_ thought about that.

"Fine." Will sounded exasperated. "If it'll stop you from doing something dumb, we'll go on a date. Happy?" _Boy,_ Will thought, _I've really lost any shred of professional decorum. I just called his choice dumb. Nice one, Zimmerman._

Henry couldn't hold back a grin. "You'll probably kill me for saying this, but you're awfully cute when you pout."

Will's head exploded. At least it felt like it did. "Wh-What?" He was very much not used to being on the receiving end of a line like that. At least not coming from another man. Most of the girls he'd dated had always been smart enough not call their man pouty. Most of them. _Of all the stupid things to say... _

Henry was emotionally exhausted. All he could do was giggle stupidly at Will's sputtering and the expression on his face.

"Man, you're too easy," he said with a good-natured snicker. "Don't be mad. I'm just teasing ya."

"Yeah, fine. You're gonna pay for that one," Will said sullenly. "When you least expect it." He failed to make it sound very menacing at all.

Henry ducked his head and looked up at Will through his lashes. "I'll consider myself warned."

Will knew when to cut his losses. After giving Henry a half-hearted glare, he segued, "You better take me somewhere nice."

"You _know_ I will," Henry replied, and his face lit up.

Will rested his elbows on his thighs, sitting forward as he tried unsuccessfully not to wring his hands a little. He looked very young looking up at Henry from that angle.

"I'm glad you're not going through with the surgery, Henry. Honest."

Henry gazed at Will with thinly veiled adoration. He had it so bad, it wasn't even funny. He wanted to say so many things that he was sure Will wasn't ready to hear, that he decided on the better part of valor.

"Yeah, yeah," Henry finally said, affecting a tone of dismissiveness. "You better get out of here before we get mushy and shit."

Will chuckled and grinned. "Agreed."

Henry raised his head and gazed at Will's face for a few seconds. He cleared his throat.

"Would it be pushing my luck to ask you for a little kiss?"

"Henry!" It seemed to Will that keeping him off-balance was Henry's new past-time.

"No tongue. A chaste, gentleman's kiss."

"You're an awful little man," Will replied meanly.

Henry was unfazed.

"Part of the charm. And I'm short, not little. Not hardly."

"Either way, I'm gonna have to say no." Will sounded unsure even to himself.

"Aw, come on. You admit you've been curious in the past."

"Yes, and we've established that I hated it."

"Not my fault they were a lousy lay. I bet they couldn't kiss for shit. I'm not them, Will."

_Yeah. That first kiss can certainly attest to that. Wait. __**First**_ _kiss? First?_ "I duh-don't know."

"Please?" Henry pouted. Here was a grown man, full on pouting. A grown man that was not Will. It was a veritable peace offering.

Will snorted softly and a lopsided smile came over him, but his eyes were still worried. His insecurity was apparent.

"Honestly? I don't want you to think I'm leading you on, in case I can't... you know." He looked down at his feet. "I don't wanna be that guy."

Henry reached over and covered one of Will's hands with his own to get his attention. Will's eyes shot up to meet his, looking as scared as Henry felt.

"Will, there's no doubt in my mind that you're worth waiting for. Nobody can give any guarantees when it comes to this kind of stuff, but we can't know unless we try. Right?"

Henry was making quite an impression on Will tonight. He knew the guy was smart but, since he usually barely even bothered to answer in anything more than broken phrases, if not plain monosyllables, Will couldn't help but be impressed at how articulate Henry could be.

"Correction. You're an awful, wily little man."

Henry grinned. "That a yes?"

Will's face was a study in contradiction. When it became apparent he wasn't going to answer, Henry sighed resignedly.

"It's okay, man. Can't blame a guy for trying, eh?" he told a flustered Will. He gave the taller man a wry smile and sat up, removing his hand in the process. "Night, then."

Feeling like he could breathe again, Will felt the tension drain from his shoulders. "Okay. Yeah."

They were all uncertain smiles until Will finally left. Once the door closed, Henry heaved a deep sigh.

"I'm just a damn masochist," he muttered to himself in the empty room. He pulled his tee-shirt off and threw it in the hamper on his way to get some fresh underpants for the shower he wanted to take when there was a soft knock on his door.

He padded over and opened his door to find Will standing there looking nervous. "Hey. Did you... forget something?"

Will's eyes were drawn to the shiny metal strategically placed on Henry's torso. "Um." He tore his eyes away and leaned in to give Henry a swift little peck on the lips.

"I never did say good night." On his way to the elevator, Will had gotten to thinking Henry had earned at least that much for being a gentleman, after all. Right. That was it. _Right?_ His pulse was racing. He wanted. He wanted and _wanted_ so many things that he couldn't even articulate them to himself. All he seemed to be able to do was stand there, darting furtive glances at Henry's naked torso, and those bright cursed barbells embedded in his skin. "D-did those hurt a lot...? _My God, I'm an idiot. Idiot. Idiot. _"I mean..."

Henry pulled the door open further with one hand, and slowly and deliberately grabbed the front of Will's shirt with the other. Will's pulse skyrocketed, and suddenly pheromones were flying everywhere. He made no move to stop Henry. He didn't even flinch.

"Promise me," Henry said a little hoarsely, "... you'll stop me if I do _anything_ you don't want." He pulled an unresisting Will back into his room as he spoke. "Please? Promise me."

The sound of the lock clicking shut made Will's breath catch.

"Yes," came his breathless reply.

And that was the end of words for the remainder of that night.

**FINIS **


End file.
